


raindrops and bathwater

by seasandsalt



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bathtubs, Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Pet Names, Rain, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, author is projecting, dream has a bad day, sapnap cheers him up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasandsalt/pseuds/seasandsalt
Summary: Sapnap took his coat off and hung it up. He slid his phone into his pocket and turned to Dream, who was watching him with an empty look in his eyes.“Hey, baby, what’s up?” He took a step towards him and rested one hand on his bicep, the other reaching up to splay across his face, thumb rubbing circles on his cheek. His lips curved upwards into a soft smile as he looked at him fondly.The sight of his boyfriend looking at him with so much love, like he hung his moon and stars, like he was the most perfect thing to exist, made Dream’s heart shatter into a million pieces. He willed the dam to be strong and sturdy, to not crack under the look Sapnap was giving him.“‘M fine,” he responded with no emotion behind his words. He was looking to his left, to his right, at his feet, anywhere except in Sapnap’s eyes.or;Dream has a bad day and gets caught out in the rain. Sapnap's there to cheer him up.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 165





	raindrops and bathwater

The sky above him was dark grey, thick clouds blocking out any possible light that would be cast from the moon and stars. Rain poured from the sky in sheets and bounced down against the concrete below his feet. The wind howled around him, shaking the surrounding trees and pulling the leaves from the branches’ grasp. 

Of course he’d chosen _today_ of all days to start walking to work instead of taking the car. He checked the weather this morning and the app on his phone stated clear skies all day and into the night, so he’d figured why not get outside - something neither him nor Sapnap had much time for in between college, work, and YouTube. 

Yet here he was, twenty minutes away from home, absolutely drenched from head to toe. His white tee-shirt clung to his chest and his jeans were uncomfortably wet and chafing in places he definitely did _not_ want them to chafe at the moment. Blond hair was plastered to his face and water streamed down the strands, running into his eyes and over his cheeks. 

He pulled his phone from his pocket and tried desperately to turn it on, refusing to accept that it had died halfway through his shift and he was stuck walking with no way to call for someone to pick him up. Buses didn’t run this late and Sapnap must have been sleeping or too preoccupied to notice the rain coming down in bucketfuls, so he was on his own for this one. 

A sigh escaped from his lips as he began heading towards home. Sapnap had a tendency to put his all into his work and block out the outside world. He poured his heart and soul into everything he did and oftentimes it led to him paying no mind to the world revolving around him. Dream loved that he was so passionate and hardworking, but at times like this, it could be a tad frustrating.

His footsteps echoed wetly against the sidewalk as he walked down the empty street, weaving in and out of the yellow pools cast by the streetlamps to his right. He kept his eyes trained on the ground in front of him as he sunk into thought. 

He couldn’t blame Sapnap for not picking him up, that was selfish. It was selfish of him to want - no, _expect_ \- Sapnap to drop everything and be at his beck and call. His boyfriend was busy, he knew that, and he sighed again as he shifted all the blame onto himself.

Of course, it was his fault, it was _always_ his fault. Everything that went wrong was because of him; destruction followed him like a puppy, tail wagging and ears perking up whenever things were slightly going his way, eager to pounce on him and ruin his good mood yet again. He had grown accustomed to the pain and emptiness he felt whenever things didn’t go exactly as he had planned them to. 

_He_ was the one who chose to walk to work, knowing that his shift ended late at night and he’d have to venture home in darkness. _He_ was the one who decided to not charge his phone before he left, assuming that the battery would last through his whole shift. _He_ was the one who always assured Sapnap that he didn’t need to wait up for him to get home from work and that it was okay to go to sleep without him if he was tired. _He_ was the one to blame.

Everything was always his fault.

Tears pricked at his eyes but were quickly washed away by the rain that already soaked his features. Dream kicked his foot out at a puddle in front of him in frustration only to have the wind work against him and send the water splashing back. Black denim turned darker as the aftereffects of Dream’s outburst of rage wet his shins and knees. He stopped walking. 

Dream wanted nothing more than to just sit on the wet concrete and burst into tears, to let the rain wash over him and drench him to the core. He wanted to feel the drops against his skin and let them seep into his bones; he craved the deep chill he knew would come and wanted it so badly, wanted to feel something, _anything_. 

As tempting as it was to let his knees give out underneath him and to feel the sting of the sidewalk as it scraped against his palms, he couldn’t stop his thoughts from drifting back to the boy back home, _his_ boy back home. 

Guilt flooded his whole system as he shook his head and continued his trek. What was he thinking? He couldn’t just sit on the sidewalk and wish for the rain to wash him down the gutter when he knew Sapnap was awake and waiting at home for him. Despite his best efforts, Sapnap never listened to him and chose to stay awake waiting no matter how tired he was. 

Disappointment shot through his veins as he scolded himself for having such selfish thoughts. What kind of person was he to prioritize wallowing in self-hatred over his own damn boyfriend? Was he really prepared to just leave Sapnap at home waiting for him to get back? He knew Sapnap would refuse to sleep and grow worried the longer it took for Dream to show up. The mental image of his boyfriend sitting cross-legged on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him, hands clutching his phone and eyes glued to the clock on the wall, head drooping with sleep before he shook it to wake himself up, waiting for him to get home so they could cuddle, drove him insane with sadness.

He was disgusted with himself for having such strong self-centred thoughts.

So he put one foot in front of the other and continued his journey home.

It had begun to rain harder, the drops of water large and hard, stinging his skin whenever they hit. The wind was bone-chilling, howling around him and threatening to stuff his hair full of leaves from the surrounding trees. His shirt was plastered to him and he assumed the white cotton was completely see-through. His jeans were no better, sticking to his legs in a disgusting way and promising to be hard to peel off. His sneakers were wrecked, the rain soaking through the fabric and into his socks. He made a mental note to always bring a bag with a jacket whenever he walked to work in the future.

The feel of his phone pressed between his thigh and the wet denim of his jeans weighed down his body. He hated feeling alone and the constant shifting of his phone in his pocket reminded him that he was shut off from the world around him. He had no company other than the raindrops and the spare pieces of trash that littered the side of the road. 

He was alone and he hated it. 

Being alone scared him; it meant there was no one to save him from the dark thoughts that clawed their way to the forefront of his brain. They maneuvered through the maze of his mind and slithered through the open cracks, making themselves seen, heard, known.

They whispered dirty secrets into his ear, reminding him that he was unloved, untouched, unwanted. They told him how broken he was. He was crumbling and could feel the rain seeping through the cracks in his facade. 

Dream shook his head as if to throw the vile things out of his brain. He was at constant war with his mind - part of him knew these thoughts were false, that they weren’t true and were simply the fantasies of his doubts forged in the fire of his insecurities, but the other part, the larger, louder, more obnoxious part, knew deep down that these notions were true, convincing him he was as hopeless and disappointing as his self-deprecating mind made him out to be. 

It was a battle that was forever waging inside his skull. The soldiers of his thoughts marched in unison behind his forehead and each side fought for dominance against the other. And just when he thought the positive side, the side that reassured him that he was okay and everything wasn’t his fault, was winning, he was put into a situation where he was isolated. And the other side fought back with ten times the aggression.

When things began to get as bad as they were now he would call someone, usually Sapnap, to pull him out of it.

But he couldn’t now.

His phone lay dead in his pocket, most likely getting damaged by the rain.

So instead, Dream put his energy into trying to focus on Sapnap to make up for the fact that he was on his own. He thought of Sapnap’s hair, black and silky, and how much he loved to run his fingers through it, tie back the strands into a knot so he could see his face better. And, oh, how Dream loved Sapnap’s face. His round cheeks and bright eyes, soft lips and button nose. He loved making his boyfriend smile, loved watching his features light up and loved it when Sapnap positively _beamed_ at him. It filled him with such pride knowing that he, of all people, could bring such a wonderful smile to such a wonderful face.

His thoughts took a turn at the same time his body did, turning left onto their street and slowly approaching their house. Dream loved being the one to make Sapnap smile, hell, he _lived_ for it. Lived for the infectious laughter and blush he caused.

But as much as he loved being the one to make him smile, he hated being the one to make him frown more.

He hated it when Sapnap’s features fell because of him, when tears welled up in the corners of his eyes because of him. Sapnap was an emotional person, feeding off the overall mood of the room and letting his emotions sway in the tide. So whenever Dream began feeling down, Sapnap would begin feeling it, too. It made him feel guilty, knowing that Sapnap was worried and sad because of him. 

Dream hated it.

So, as he neared their house, he made the conscious decision to shut his emotions off. To build up a dam and act like everything was fine. Sure, he was sopping wet and his eyes were red with what were _definitely not tears_ , but he did not want the guilty feeling that came with knowing he brought Sapnap’s mood down and caused his boyfriend to worry.

He shook his head slightly and walked up to the front door, trying to pull his keys out of his pocket. After a few failed attempts to pry the keyring from his wet jeans’ embrace, he managed to hold the correct key in between his shaking fingers and slide it into the lock.

As soon as his hand wrapped around the cold doorknob, the door swung open and he was met with the sight of Sapnap bundled in the largest coat he owned with his phone pressed to his ear.

The two stood there staring at each other for a few seconds before realization donned on Sapnap’s face.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, face breaking into that smile Dream loved so much as he removed the phone from his ear. His features morphed from worry to relief as he mumbled a small, “Dream!”

Dream gave him a weak, watery smile and blinked his eyes rapidly to stem the tears threatening to spill through the cracks in the dam. 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Um,” he looked up at the grey clouds blanketing the sky and the water falling from them in sheets. Raindrops splattered against his face and stung his eyes. 

“Oh, right! C’mere,” Sapnap laughed sweetly and wrapped his fingers around Dream’s wrist, pulling him into the warmth of the house and providing him with the shelter from the rain he had been needing. The door closed behind them as Dream stood just inside the threshold, hands limply hanging by his side.

He hadn’t noticed it while he was walking, but when the warm air from inside the house hit his body, he realized just how cold he was. His whole body was shaking from the chill and he hadn’t even paid attention to it. 

Sapnap took his coat off and hung it up. He slid his phone into his pocket and turned to Dream, who was watching him with an empty look in his eyes. 

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” He took a step towards him and rested one hand on his bicep, the other reaching up to splay across his face, thumb rubbing circles on his cheek. His lips curved upwards into a soft smile as he looked at him fondly. 

The sight of his boyfriend looking at him with so much love, like he hung his moon and stars, like he was the most perfect thing to exist, made Dream’s heart shatter into a million pieces. He willed the dam to be strong and sturdy, to not crack under the look Sapnap was giving him.

“‘M fine,” he responded with no emotion behind his words. He was looking to his left, to his right, at his feet, anywhere except in Sapnap’s eyes. 

Sapnap frowned as his gaze raked over Dream’s face and down his shoulders, searching for a hidden answer to his question. The hand on Dream’s cheek crept upwards and brushed the wet hair off of his forehead. “Baby, you’re soaked.”

His tender tone and love-filled expression pushed harder against the already weak and failing supports of Dream’s dam. He let out a short, choked laugh and mumbled, “yeah, lil’ bit.”

“I’m so sorry. I got caught up in what I was doing - you know how I get - and didn’t realize the rain had gotten this bad. I should’ve paid more attention. God, I’m so sorry! I left you to walk home in the rain, in the _storm_! I’m such a bad boyfriend, Dream, I’m so sorry,” Sapnap rambled, words tumbling out quickly as his other hand drifted down to Dream’s. He took the keys from Dream’s still-shaking fingers and set them in the bowl next to the door. Their fingers intertwined as he continued to rub his thumb across the top of Dream’s cheekbone. 

“Please don’t apologize,” his voice was barely above a whisper, having made the conscious decision to keep it low so Sapnap wouldn’t hear it breaking.

He kept pressing, “I tried calling! I called so many times, why didn’t you pick up? I got worried. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Look at you, you’re soaked ‘cause of me -”

“‘S not your fault, Sap -”

“- I need to start paying more attention, I should’ve been there for you. I - what do you mean? It’s totally my fault.”

Dream shook his head gently, smiling down at Sapnap with as much sincerity as he could muster, “please don’t blame yourself. It’s my fault.”

“I - _what_? Baby, how could it possibly be your fault?”

Water continued to drip from his hair onto his face and he blinked the raindrops out of his eyes. “Always my fault.”

Sapnap’s face fell, eyes filling with confusion as the comforting motions of his thumb came to a halt. “What?”

Dream stopped. He could feel it, the wave of emotions banging against the crumbling walls of the dam he built, begging and pleading to be released. It pounded against his skull and he could sense it welling up behind his eyes. His breath shook when he exhaled and he feared for the worst. He shook his head.

“Talk to me, love.”

His tone was endearing, the words sweet like candy and soft like butter, floating through the air and nestling themselves right into Dream’s heart. They pushed their way upwards towards the dam he built in his mind and slipped through the cracks.

The entire structure came crumbling down.

Dream let out a strangled sob and gave in to the destruction as the tears flowed openly from his eyes and down his cheeks. 

His body shook from the cold and trembled from the sobs, and Sapnap’s hand went from his cheek to the back of his head, pulling him close. 

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you,” he whispered into his ear, fingers tangling into wet, matted hair as he let Dream cry on his shoulder.

“P-phone died. Should’ve driven. Didn’t bring a jacket.” The words were muffled by his tears as he mustered up the energy to snake his arms behind his boyfriend’s back and pull him close.

Sapnap knew there was no point in arguing with Dream while he was in such an emotional state, so he merely comforted him. Held him close while he sobbed and whispered quiet affirmations into his ear, telling him that he was okay, he was safe, that Sapnap had him and he would feel better after getting it all out.

Dream cried for a while and Sapnap just let him. He cried until his hair had begun to dry and the fabric of his tee-shirt was no longer see-through. He cried until the reservoir behind the dam was completely empty and there were no more tears to shed.

He sniffled weakly and pulled his head from Sapnap’s shoulder, disentangling their arms when he took a step back.

“Hi,” Sapnap smiled softly up at him, hand going from the back of his head to the side of his face, brushing a few still-damp strands of hair away from his face and tucking them behind his ear.

“‘M sorry,” he mumbled, wiping the remaining tears from his eyes and the snot away from his nose. He cringed at how disgusting he must look, standing there in front of Sapnap crying like a child, flimsily wiping the tears away from his face as if to hide the evidence that he did, in fact, have emotions. 

“Fuck, Dream, you don’t have to apologize for crying.” His words came out harsher than intended and Dream instinctually flinched away from him, taking another small step back towards the door behind him. 

Sapnap sighed and took a step closer, bringing his hands up to frame his face. Dream sniffled again and leaned into the touch. The hands were warm and felt like heaven against his cold skin. He closed his eyes when Sapnap raised himself onto the tips of his toes and pressed his lips to Dream’s nose, a soft and barely-there touch that made his insides go fuzzy.

“It’s not your fault, Dream,” his voice was serious and he pulled away from him, hands trailing from his face to his jaw and neck, brushing over his shoulders and down the lengths of his arms. He linked their fingers again and gave his boyfriend the sternest look he could muster as he said, “stop blaming yourself for everything. You’re too hard on yourself.”

He was too tired to come up with a response; his early morning and long shift at work had finally caught up with him, not to mention the exhaustion settling in his bones from walking through the rough wind and pouring rain. Eyes still closed, he leaned forward and rested his head on Sapnap’s shoulder. His breath was still shaky from crying as he inhaled deeply, breathing in Sapnap’s scent and feeling comfort for the first time that day since he’d left. Goosebumps rose over his flesh as the heat from Sapnap’s skin seeped through his clothes and onto his. 

A kiss was pressed to his temple as Sapnap whispered in his ear, “let’s get you warmed up, okay?”

“Bath?” he mumbled. 

The soft laugh that flowed from Sapnap’s lips was melodic and beautiful, twirling through the air and wrapping Dream in its warm embrace. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

“Okay. C’mon, let’s go,” his smile could be heard through his voice as he pressed one final kiss to Dream’s temple and stepped back once he’d raised his head. He dropped one of his hands and turned around, waiting for Dream to kick off his wet shoes before leading him away from the front door and down the hallway towards the bathroom.

The house was dark, illuminated only by the faint light coming from the window at the end of the hallway. It was quiet except for the rain pattering against the glass and the soft _slap_ of Dream’s wet socks against the hardwood floor. Every couple of steps, Sapnap would let out a few muffled giggles at the sound. He looked over his shoulder and shot Dream a smile before bursting into another fit of giggles when he noticed the wet patches on the floor in the same shape as Dream’s feet.

Dream looked behind him and cringed, muttering a small, “sorry,” while reaching down to peel the wet socks off his feet.

“Relax, it’s okay! It’s funny.” Sapnap tugged his hand and continued their short walk down the hallway, leaving Dream following behind him with one sock on his foot and the other clutched loosely in his hand.

The two turned into the bathroom and dropped hands. Dream stood still and watched as Sapnap’s hand hovered over the light switch before ultimately deciding to leave it off, settling, instead, for the low moonlight spilling through the clouds from the skylight above them. He walked over to the bathtub and put the plug in the drain before turning on the faucet. After checking the temperature of the water with his hand and making sure it was perfect, he walked over to Dream and placed his hands on his hips.

Dream’s body hit the edge of the counter as Sapnap walked them backwards and situated himself between Dream’s hips. A lazy smile spread across his face as he gazed up at his boyfriend. He pressed their lips together and let the kiss linger for a few seconds before pulling away. His hands dropped back to his sides as he told Dream to stay where he was while he got him a towel and some clean, dry clothes to change into after his bath. 

Once Sapnap had left the room, Dream turned around and looked in the mirror. His eyes raked over his own reflection and he grimaced; his skin looked pale in the shallow lighting, making his face appear to be gaunt and hollow. Dark circles ringed his eyes and his hair stuck up in weird directions, having dried oddly after Sapnap had run his fingers through it. He looked higher and locked eyes with his reflection.

He frowned. 

He’d always made a big deal about his appearance, boasting about it online and acting as cocky and confident as possible, but, in reality, he was just … fine with the way he looked. He was neither happy nor unhappy with it and it had taken him a long time to come to terms with that. But on days like this one, he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering, from morphing his features into something unrecognizable and unredeemable.

A sigh escaped his lips.

Footsteps sounded behind him as Sapnap reentered the room and placed the pile of folded clothes and towels on the counter beside him. A hand graced over the small of his back as Sapnap crossed the room to turn the faucet off, cutting off the flow of water as it neared the top of the bathtub.

He couldn’t seem to break eye contact with himself even as he felt Sapnap sidle up behind him and place his chin on his shoulder. Warm arms snaked around his waist and soft hands slid underneath his shirt. The feel of Sapnap’s skin against his sent a shiver down his spine and caused goosebumps to rise on his flesh.

“You okay?” The question was whispered in his ear and followed by a kiss on the side of his jaw. 

He nodded meekly and forced his eyes away from his reflection, choosing to focus on the image of Sapnap instead.

His black hair was pulled back into a knot behind his head, the countless strands hanging loose around his face an indication that it had been up all day. His eyes were closed and his lips were turned up into a smile, blush spreading across his cheeks as his hands roamed over Dream’s stomach and sides. 

“You’re so pretty,” the words tumbled past his lips before he could even recognize they were sitting upon his tongue. He meant them, too, with his entire being. To Dream, Sapnap was the most attractive person to ever exist. It astonished him every day how someone as beautiful, as kind, as _perfect_ as Sapnap could actively choose to associate himself with him.

The smile on Sapnap’s lips grew wider as his eyes fluttered open. They made eye contact in the mirror and Sapnap looked at him with so much care and adoration that Dream swore he felt his knees go weak and his heart skip a beat. 

“Says you, mister. Now, c’mon, before the water gets cold.”

Sapnap removed his hands from under his shirt and grabbed the belt loops of his jeans instead. He gave a tug and twisted him around so they were face to face once again. Then the hands were back under his shirt and against his skin, dragging the fabric along with them as they rose higher and higher on his torso. 

Dream revelled in the contact, sighing as he felt Sapnap’s hands graze over his sides and abdomen, moving up to his chest. 

“Up,” Sapnap mumbled when he bumped an elbow against Dream’s bicep, indicating that he needed him to raise his arms to fully take the shirt off. 

His fingers opened and he dropped the wet sock he was still holding from the hallway onto the floor and lifted his arms up. Sapnap’s hands continued their journey up his body, fingers gracing over his chest and gathering the damp material underneath his arms. He raised himself up and pressed a quick kiss to Dream’s lips before pulling the shirt over his head. 

It got stuck on the back of his head. 

Sapnap burst into a fit of giggles as Dream’s hands scrambled to grip the fabric and finish pulling it off his body. It took a few seconds longer than it should have, but eventually, the shirt was pulled from his head and shoulders and dropped onto the floor beside the sock. 

Dream felt his face heat up from the embarrassment of getting stuck in his clothes like he was a child, and Sapnap standing in front of him laughing was no help. He shot Sapnap the most intense glare he could muster and huffed out a breath. 

His boyfriend’s laughter slowly tapered off as the two made eye contact. Sapnap smiled sheepishly and confessed, “you’re cute, I can’t help it!” 

Dream frowned. The atmosphere in the humid, dark bathroom shifted back to its original moody state as his mind began to wander off again, his thoughts once again traversing down the dark path they had stumbled upon on his walk home. 

The boy in front of him visibly deflated at the mood shift, lips curving downwards into a frown. “Hey, hey, look at me. I mean it,” he began, cupping Dream’s jaw and tilting his head so they were looking at each other. “I know you don’t believe me right now, and that’s okay. But one day I’ll get you to see yourself the same way I do. You’re perfect, baby.”

His words meant a lot to him, they really did, and he greatly appreciated everything Sapnap was doing to help drag him out of his slump. He wanted to tell him that — wanted to tell him that his gentle tone and kind words made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, that he gave the best hugs and his hands on Dream’s body made his skin tingle and his insides go alight with flames. Dream wanted to tell him that just thinking about Sapnap brought a smile to his face. 

But he couldn’t. The words got caught in his throat and died on his tongue before they could pass through his lips.

So Dream shrugged his shoulders and maintained eye contact, hoping Sapnap would be able to decipher his thoughts through his intense gaze. 

“You know I love you, right?”

_He shouldn’t._

Dream nodded. 

“Good.” A kiss was pressed to each of his cheeks, then the tip of his nose, and then, finally, Sapnap’s lips ghosted against his. “The water’s gonna get cold. Where were we?”

The question was a rhetoric one, but Dream placed his hands on his belt anyway, fingers fumbling with the buckle. Sapnap’s hands covered Dream’s and gingerly removed them from the belt. He placed them, instead, on his own hips and took over for him, undoing the belt and sliding it out of the loops of his jeans in one quick, deft movement. 

It was added to the pile of clothing on the floor. 

The jeans, Dream assumed, would prove to be a problem. They were still damp and sticking to his skin and he figured he’d have to embarrass himself — _yet again_ — by shimmying his legs and prying them off his body. 

But Sapnap made it look easy. He popped the button and unzipped the zipper in a matter of seconds. His fingers slipped under the waistband and he gave a gentle tug. It was definitely a slower process than normal, but Sapnap managed to slide him out of his jeans far easier than Dream figured he could’ve done himself.

His fingers felt like fire against his legs and he watched in wonder as Sapnap lowered himself into a crouch at the same pace as the denim around his legs. He felt a tap against his right calf and lifted his foot off the ground, eyes locked onto the top of Sapnap’s head as he slipped the fabric over his foot, dragging the remaining sock off his body along with it. A twin tap to his left leg and the jeans were off, Sapnap pressing a kiss to the inside of his thigh before standing back up again. He kicked the pants to the side and brushed Dream’s hair away from his face.

He smiled what he figured to be his first genuine smile all night.

“There it is,” Sapnap whispered, one hand framing his face and the other reaching down to hold his hip, fingers toying with the waistband of his underwear. 

With a quick kiss and a couple of steps backwards, Dream was sitting on the edge of the bathtub with Sapnap standing between his legs. Heat rolled off the water behind him in waves and warmed his back, a feeling he welcomed with open arms.

“Want me to leave you alone?” Sapnap asked, smiling down at him with sincerity.

“Please don’t,” he whispered, voice slightly hoarse from the crying. The last thing he wanted was to be left alone with only his thoughts for company again. He didn’t think he could handle it.

Sapnap nodded, pressed his lips to Dream’s forehead, and told him he’d be right back. 

Dream watched him leave the room and debated waiting for him to get back before entering the bath, but the call of the hot water was too tempting for him to resist. Before he knew it, his underwear had been added to the pile of clothes on the floor and his body was submerged in water. 

It was heavenly. Water swirled around him and warmed him to the core. A deep sigh escaped his lips and echoed through the bathroom, bouncing off the walls and mingling with the soft splashing sounds that emanated from the water around him.

His eyes closed, his movements stilled, and his breathing deepened. Dream allowed himself to relax for the first time in what felt like forever.

To his right, he heard Sapnap return to the room and the soft sound of what he assumed to be clothing being set on the counter. He kept his eyes closed as Sapnap undressed and stepped into the bathtub, sitting down behind him. 

Arms snaked around his waist and he allowed himself to be pulled closer, his back pressed against Sapnap’s chest. He felt hands on his stomach and chest and a chin on his shoulder, the loose black hairs that framed Sapnap’s face tickling his bare skin. His legs were bent at an odd angle, but the weight of Sapnap’s thighs around him as he sat between his hips alleviated any discomfort their small bathtub caused. Sapnap hummed and Dream felt the vibration of it more than he heard it, the low, comforting rumble lulling him into an even more relaxed state. He let his head fall back onto Sapnap’s shoulder and relished in the kisses pressed to his neck, jaw, and cheek.

All at once, the weight of the entire day fell onto his shoulders and the exhaustion hit him like a tidal wave. It threatened to pull him under and trap him in its riptide, dragging him deeper and deeper into the lull of sleep and the warmth of both the water and Sapnap’s arms around him. Just as he was about to let the wave wash over him, Sapnap’s hands moved from his chest and stomach and, instead, gripped his shoulders and sat him up. Dream hadn’t even realized he was leaning that far back onto Sapnap.

“Can’t have you falling asleep in the bath, now can we?” Sapnap chuckled lightly, pressing more kisses to Dream’s exposed skin. “C’mon, let’s wash the rain off you.”

He reached up with one hand and grabbed the bottle of shampoo and the soap off the shelf and set it down on the edge of the bathtub. Then both hands were back on Dream’s shoulders, rubbing up and down in a steady, rhythmic motion. 

“Lean back for me, baby?”

Dream let Sapnap’s hands guide him back until the water lapped over his shoulders and chest, the only parts of him not submerged being his bent knees and his face. The top of his head brushed against Sapnap’s stomach and he opened his eyes.

It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, but as soon as they did, he was met with the sight of Sapnap looking down at him. Strands of his hair fell from his face and tickled Dream’s nose, and he used what little energy he had to drag his hand from under the water to reach behind him and tuck those strands behind Sapnap’s ear. Adoration surged through his entire being when Sapnap positively _beamed_ down at him, nose scrunching up and cheeks flushing a light pink colour, barely visible in the dark room, but beautiful nonetheless. 

“Pretty,” he mumbled, fingers tracing along Sapnap’s cheekbone and down his jaw, leaving trails of water droplets in their paths. 

Sapnap said something back but Dream couldn’t hear him properly; his ears were underneath the water and the only indication he had that Sapnap even responded was the movement of his lips and the hand that snaked into his hair.

His gaze shifted from Sapnap’s face to the skylight above them as the fingers in his hair began gently massaging his scalp. The sky was dark and filled with thick, grey clouds and the glass was splattered with raindrops. It was hypnotic, and he found himself staring intently at the pattern of little round drops falling on the window and being blown down the glass by the wind. He was content to stay there forever, submerged in the warm water with one hand in his hair and the other splayed between his shoulder blades, keeping him afloat.

But, much too soon for Dream’s liking, he was being guided back into a sitting position. Water streamed from his hair down his back and he felt a chill run through his body at the loss of warmth. Lips pressed against the back of his head as he shifted backwards, back flush against Sapnap’s chest once again. He felt Sapnap move and reach for something but paid no mind to the movement, choosing, instead, to hone in on the sensation of Sapnap’s other hand resting lightly on his hip. 

Dream would never tire of the feeling of Sapnap’s hands on him. They fit against him perfectly, like the final piece in a puzzle, like they were meant to be pressed against his skin and no one else’s. It made him feel special, loved. 

He was dragged from his thoughts by a soft _click_ and more shuffling from the boy behind him. Then the hand on his hip moved upwards and joined the other on his head. Scents of lemon and sage filled the room as Sapnap’s hands worked the shampoo into his hair. He inhaled deeply and allowed himself to get lost in the sensation of hands massaging his head, blunt fingernails scraping lightly against his scalp. 

His lips parted and he exhaled a soft sigh, closing his eyes and leaning further into the touch. Sapnap was good at this, too good, and he never wanted the feeling to end. 

Sapnap chuckled and Dream felt the vibrations of it rumble through his chest. “Feel good?”

“Mhmm.”

“Good,” another quiet laugh, followed by soft lips pressing a kiss on his cheek. “Lean back again.”

One hand stayed in his hair while the other went back to his shoulder blades, guiding and holding him as he leaned back. Warm water swallowed his body as he let it flow over him, opening his eyes to watch Sapnap while he washed the shampoo out of his hair. There was a concentrated look plastered onto his face - his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and his jaw was set.

Dream smiled.

Sapnap looked away from what he was doing and, instead, locked eyes with Dream. He leaned forward and connected their lips. It was an awkward angle, but the kiss was just as sweet, if not sweeter, than any other. Dream brought his hand up and wrapped his fingers around Sapnap’s wrist, wanting something to hold on to.

He almost whined when Sapnap separated their lips and took his hand out of his hair, stopping himself with what little dignity he had left and forcing the sound to die in his throat before he embarrassed himself more than he already had that night.

Fingers still wrapped around his wrist, Dream brought Sapnap’s hand to his face and pressed his lips against it, kissing the tip of each finger gently before allowing himself to be sat back up. 

Another _click_ and Sapnap had a washcloth covered in sweet-smelling soap scrubbing circles into the skin of his bicep. The motion was rhythmic and soothing, the pressure light but grounding and wholly welcomed. Soap suds gathered on his skin and reflected what little light pooled through the window above them, the bubbles mimicking the pattern of raindrops on the glass. 

Dream yawned and tried to stave off the exhaustion so he wouldn’t fall asleep in the bath.

“Almost done, love,” Sapnap spoke into his ear.

It was a slow process, but soon, both his arms, shoulders, back, and chest had been scrubbed, the day washed cleanly off his body and removing some of the weight from his shoulders. Sapnap poured more soap onto the cloth and dipped it under the water, rubbing it over his stomach before moving further down.

The cloth graced over his inner thigh and Dream let his head fall back onto Sapnap’s shoulder, relishing in the feeling. It was sensual and invigorating, toeing the line of erotic and arousing, but Dream was too tired and Sapnap knew that, opting, instead, to fuel the touch with love and nothing else.

The cloth worked its way down his thigh and onto his calf, coming out of the water to scrub at his knee and the remaining parts of his leg. The process was repeated with his other leg, and then the washcloth was removed, set to the side with the other bottles. 

He felt water wash over him as Sapnap rinsed the leftover soap suds off his skin. Lips ghosted over his shoulders and neck before he felt Sapnap stand up and step out of the bath. Even though he was tall enough to fill the entire bathtub (and then some), it felt empty without the warmth and weight of Sapnap’s presence and Dream huffed out a breath at the lack of physical contact.

“Be patient,” Sapnap responded, amusement lacing his words. He made some shuffling sounds and Dream spared a glance to the side. He watched as his boyfriend dried himself off with a towel and pulled on a pair of underwear and grey sweatpants. “Alright, c’mere.”

Dream took the hands offered to him and stood up, stepping over the edge of the bathtub and placing his feet squarely on the bathmat below him. A hand brushed his wet hair out of his face and then got to work drying him off with a fluffy towel. The touches mimicked those with the soapy washcloth as they trailed over his body, gentle and loving, and they made Dream feel safe and secure. 

He was handed a pile of clothes after the towel was removed from his body and set aside. Dream put on a pair of boxers and pulled a large tee-shirt over his head, deciding to not wear the sweatpants he was offered. He turned to Sapnap expectantly, as if he was waiting for instructions on what to do next, and saw him reaching down to remove the plug from the bottom of the bathtub. Gurgling sounds filled the room as the water was sucked down the drain.

Satisfied, Sapnap turned around and gestured for Dream to sit on the edge of the now-empty bathtub. He did as he was told and sat, looking up at his boyfriend as he grabbed a new towel and began to dry his hair. It felt nice to have hands back in his hair, massaging his scalp and drying off the blond strands. But, all too soon, the towel was removed and the hands left his hair.

“There,” Sapnap beamed, cupping his face with his hands and smiling at him. “All clean. You ready for bed?”

Dream nodded and fought to keep his eyes open. He spared one last glance around the bathroom before standing up and taking the hand extended his way. Fingers linked, the two walked out of the bathroom and crossed the hall, stepping over the threshold into their shared bedroom.

Rain pounded against the large window and howling wind could be heard from outside the glass, indicating the storm had worsened since Dream had gotten home. Soft light emanated from the open laptop sitting on the desk, bathing the room in its gentle purple glow. Their bed sat in the middle of the room, headboard pushed against the wall and framed by small tables on either side. A plush rug carpeted the hardwood floor and silenced their footsteps as Sapnap led them to the bed.

Dream welcomed the bed’s embrace as he fell back onto it, shuffling himself under the comforter and leaning his head back against the pillows. He felt the pull of sleep as it wrapped itself around his ankle and tugged him into its depths. Eyes unfocused and brain foggy, he felt Sapnap climb into bed beside him.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

Dream nodded and offered Sapnap a small smile. “Thank you.”

It was true, he was feeling better. Sapnap had this quality about him that warmed up the whole room, made it nearly impossible to remain angry or sad for longer than a few hours. He was beautiful and kind and caring and, wow, Dream was unapologetically and irrevocably in love with him.

He was so in love that there were no words to describe it and it frustrated him at some points. A simple ‘thank you’ wasn’t enough to tell Sapnap how grateful he was that he helped pull him out of the dark mindset he was in. A simple ‘I love you’ wasn’t enough to tell Sapnap that he was the most important person in Dream’s whole world. 

It frustrated him to no end, so he gave up trying to put words behind his feelings and decided to show Sapnap how much he loved him in the only other way he knew how. He rolled onto his side and placed his palm against Sapnap’s cheek. Fingers curled into his hip as he brought their lips together in a kind kiss. 

If Dream thought Sapnap’s hands were made to fit against his body, then his lips were surely crafted by the gods themselves. They slotted against his like no other, perfectly soft and perfectly _his_. 

Sparks ignited themselves in his chest as they kissed until he ran out of breath, and then kissed more. It was tender, full of unspoken words and love confessions. Sapnap’s hand slipped under his shirt and his heart sped up, snaking his hand into black hair and pulling out the hairband Sapnap had forgotten to remove. They pulled apart to breathe in air and Dream’s inhale was cut off by a large yawn.

Sapnap giggled and removed his hand from under his shirt. He rolled onto his back and pulled Dream closer to him. “We’ll continue this later, if you want. But you need to sleep right now.”

Dream was about to reply, tell Sapnap that he was awake and wanted to continue but the words were muffled by another yawn and the irresistible urge to close his eyes and shut off his brain until the rain stopped and the sun was high in the sky. 

“Don’t argue, love. You’re tired. I’ll be here when you wake up, there’s no need to rush things right now.”

He wrapped an arm around Sapnap’s middle and rested his head on his shoulder, letting himself, finally, be tucked into sleep’s warm embrace.

Before consciousness left him, he kissed Sapnap’s neck and whispered a genuine, “thank you, I love you,” into his skin.

His eyes closed and he fell asleep to the sounds of rain hitting the window and Sapnap’s soft breaths, letting the arms around him protect him from any terrible thought that tried to worm its way into his mind. It was the best sleep he’d had in ages.

**Author's Note:**

> was feeling down for the past couple days so i decided to write self-indulgent dreamnap to cheer myself up :)
> 
> kudos and comments are incredibly appreciated - tell me your favourite part !!
> 
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/seasandsalt) for updates on new works, shitposts, and everything of the sorts.
> 
> thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed it!


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